Self Diagnosis...

I am a controlling, self-centered, attention-crazed, perfectionist bitch and there is nothing else to it. :/

I can't take this! (explicit)

So, I'm not even going to play with my fonts. I am SO irritated and if I vent anywhere but here then my boyfriend's mother will read it and get all pissy with me and I'm just so fed up with her shit!

For one, her "baby boy" is an "ADULT". LET HIM GROW THE FUCK UP! If you have your tit shoved down his throat and then expect him to follow all of the rules you put down, you're going to have some problems. Again, he is 18. He's going to college. And yea, he may smoke and we may have sex but that never changed anything even when I was in school and he was being "home schooled".

"Oh Mother In Law"

What are you going to do when he is a grown up with a real job, a family, a house of his own? Are you going to tell him how to run his life then? I mean, come on! Just because your son decided to experiment before college and then decided that he was going to live on campus, you go off on him? FUCK THAT.

I know I was spoiled growing up but NONE of my friends, nor classmates, nor ANYONE I know of has the bullshit of being 18 and having an 11:30 pm curfew as well as constant threats of having things taken away or constant bitch outs because they want to live on campus when they go to college.

I can't even keep writing right now because Im so angry. I wish that you would just let him be who he is. He's being safe about everything and its not like he would lie to you if you were more easy going or less bitchy. But ya know...what do I know? I don't have kids...Only babysat/raised four.

Slacking Off

Okay, So I have definitely been slacking off. I haven't truly worked on anything diet wise in forever. Now, Im sitting here kicking my self in the ass and wishing I had been.

I graduated. Went to the Big Apple with all of my graduating class. Am enrolled in college and accepted for on campus housing. And I have a job that I hate with the biggest burning passion. I would complain all day and night if I thought it would get me anywhere.


I put in job applications nearly everywhere I am hoping that as soon as September hits, my college will employ me somewhere among the campus or even somewhere outside the campus perimeter. It would be more of a blessing than a hurt I suppose. Truly welcomed as well.


I got a new piercing too! I forgot to add that in...haha....I went into the tattoo parlor asked about prices, watched the guy tattoo a customer, then decided that I was going to get a piercing. I only got my industrial done because I was too chicken to get my nipples done. Then I thought about getting my cartilage done on the other side so that I would be evened out on piercings but that didn't end up happening. Ill post pictures eventually.


Anywho, I just wanted to update this and let anyone who cares know Im not dead...Just slacking.


Oh, P.S. E: If you happen to read this...I have been checking on your blog....just have yet to comment..So please continue to update it! I get worried about my fellow blogging buddy! :P


Yours Truly,
Soph

Crazy Girl, Don't You Know That I Love You...

I have come to the conclusion that I am incredibly lazy. Yea, I have yet to actually start doing anything yet, towards losing weight. I definitely have found that I prefer veggies and fruits over junk foods but there are a few times where junk food comes into play and takes top priority; like my TOM. Oh, yes, that is this week. Thankfully because if it wasn't then I would be on it for my boyfriend's graduation party, my graduation, my graduation party, or other important events.


I'm no longer going to try to play the misfit trying to fit in. I hate being fake and hate playing the game of finding out who your friends are by acting like certain people. I am a down home country girl who prefers moonshine over a brew and would rather wear jeans and a tank top than Tripps or skinny jeans. Those popular girls who dye their hair blonde with multiple colored high lights and low lights are not who I want to be. I want to be me and I know plenty of people who love and respect me regardless of what I wear or do or say or look like.


I do want to lose weight, but not for anyone else. I want to change out my wardrobe and wear pink if I so please. I don't want to hear "I've never seen you wear that before!" and I definitely don't want to listen to the he-said-she-said stuff.


Now Im getting off track. So I'm going to ramble about things that are going on in my life ASIDE from finding who I really am.


I'm supposed to be getting my glasses soon but the eye place is only open on Mondays and Wednesdays and they came in Thursday, which pisses me off. I have finals starting today and I could really use them over most of the things that I have handy. Today's final: Spanish level three.


I went to the dentist yesterday and found out that most of my crowding, jaw pain, and such is due to stupid wisdom teeth. And I also found out that because my nasal passages and nerves are basically wrapped up around the bottoms of the teeth, there might be complications so I have to have oral surgery (first SURGERY ever) at a hospital. They're also waiting until after graduation and such is over with to do the surgery and stuff which could end bad because I might not have insurance by then. Who knows. I just hope that we still have insurance by then because we wont be able to afford anything.


For graduation, I need so much. Between money for things and the actual items Im going to need...Its ridiculous! I need a dress and shoes (required for under our cap and gown), clothes that fit for project graduation (going to NYC!), sneakers that fit and support my feet, hair appointment the day of graduation (I dont want to look stupid with the graduation cap on), and college stuff as well my license and a car. Yep, that about sums everything up, I guess.


The dress I really want for graduation is about $60 at Torrid and is gorgeous. In case anyone doesn't know what Torrid is, it's the most amazing women's plus size clothing store in all of the world. Its a bit pricey but the clothing isn't like Walmart's plus size clothing lines. They aren't old lady printed or short legged or anything like that. They even have their sizes worded/numbered differently. A 0 isn't a 0 there, its a large. A 1 is an extra large, and so on. Such a great feeling to put on a 2 or 3 and not have it say 22 or 24. Anyway, enough promoting places that aren't paying me ;P


I want to go fishing, drink a little and relax in the shade. Stay out all night and watch the sun set and rise again. Go dance in a field like a fool and ride around in a pick-up. Yep, sounds like the good life. If my summer doesn't consist of any of this, I will not have lived my life to the fullest.


Anywho, I think thats enough for today. Enjoy your day/night.


Yours Truly,
Soph

Blinded by the...Whatever.

Yep, so in about an hour, I get to go be told Im blind and get fabulous glasses that accent my fat face. Oh well, right? Although, depending on the glasses, they could make me look sexy. I really need them and have needed them since my freshman year. My mother is just now getting around to taking me since I made my appointment and I still have insurance.
In one of my classes, we have to write a children's book. I wrote about three different stories then finally finished one. Its about a lion who gets a bone stuck in his tooth and is afraid of dentists. So, naturally, its jungle themed. I drew out my border for the pages. Its pretty awesome. Now Im just hoping that the actual illustrations match its awesomeness.
Summer is almost here and then Ill be in college after that. I can't wait because my college offers access to the beach and a gym. SO FREAKING EXCITED! Work out city, here I come. My knees have been killing me but I think it's because I've been nothing but lazy. I gave up trying to do the whole portion control thing because it wasn't getting me anywhere. Im such a procrastinator and it doesn't help that all of my senior stuff is driving me up the wall. I'll get there, and when I do, I'll rock it!
For now, Im going to watch Youtube videos and avoid classwork. (Im in a study hall but I don't have the materials that I need presently. So whatever :]
Enjoy your day and night!
Yours Truly,
Soph

Prom :]

Prom was fantastic. My boyfriend looked amazing. I looked and felt like a princess. The only bad things were my friend's problems with her fiance (who both are my exes), the girl who sat next to us was acting pretty skanky, and I had a head cold. Anyway, Im going to try to post a few pictures on here and see how it goes. :]

Sigh!

So, I've been pretty depressed lately. My prom dress is nothing of what I wanted, school is beating my ass, and I've cried more lately than I usually do. Part of me just wants to run away, the other part seems to keep bouncing from thought to thought.
18 more school days until I graduate. Finals. College. Driving. Money. Its all just making my head hurt and my emotions run rampant.
Weight loss hasn't even come close to what it should. I refuse to weigh myself until after prom. Stress is just immense right now. I feel so bad for my favorite male teacher. He lost 19 years of information off of his laptop (not sure if what was backed up was deleted as well but hes pretty down) and he has a whole ton of stuff being dumped into his lap being the head coordinator for the senior class scheduling.
Yesterday I bashed my knee off the gym floor because my other foot slid out in front of me. :/ Talk about 1. embarrassing, and 2. painful. Then during the weekend, my sister decided 1 am was a great time to come home and stay the night for one of the few times in six years. Drunk, crying, and hungry; she decided to come into my room and crash in my bed. Only problem was that she got just about completely naked (panties were my only savior) and flopped around on my bed then bit me because I refused to get her food.
I know Im going to miss high school and all of that, but I honestly can't wait to get the heck out of here. So many of the girls are just too full of themselves. They think they are soooooooo irresistible when in reality, their personalities KILL any form of attraction they have. Blah.
So Im pretty much just going to leave it at that. Probably won't update this for a bit anyway...but yea...Enjoy whatever it is you're doing.
Yours Truly,
Soph